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With all of the various events in the Arab world, our recent partisan political debacles here in the USA, and a recent contact by another men’s group praising us for being a peer-led group, I thought it would be timely to talk about Leadership.

Male stereotypes are rich in leadership figures.  Do we feel the burden of and expectation of leadership?  Have you shouldered the of leadership of others in your life?  Does it energize you, or is it a burden?  Do you feel connected to those you lead, or alienated?  Do you feel you have natural gifts in this area or have you figured out a strategies to overcome a lack of natural talent?

  • Do you wish you could acquire more leadership qualities?  Do they elude your grasp?  What prevents you from exerting yourself as a leader?  How do you react to leadership?  Do you prefer to guide your own life without interference from leadership figures?  Do you have latent anarchistic tendencies?  Or do you crave the clear direction provided by leadership?
  • Have you had leaders in your life that you’ve admired or tried to emulate?  Or have you been the victim of unfair or irresponsible leadership, possibly still carrying a grudge?  What do you want from leadership?  What are the qualities of a perfect leader in your opinion?
  • Are there leadership issues in your relationship with family, friends, lovers, work, our group?
  • And finally, are you able to ‘self-lead’ – to lead your life where you want it to go instead of following your reactions and repeating the same steps over and over?
Look forward to meeting with you all.

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We will be meeting on Monday, October 18th, from 7:30pm-9:30pm.
Our theme will be balance.
What does it mean to bring our lives into balance? When we get out of balance how do we recognize it, and do something about it? Modern life is full of strong forces that can pull us off our path, or away from our goals. Externally we are forced to juggle multiple roles; worker, partner, son, provider, perhaps father, boss or husband. Internally we struggle to mediate urges, needs, desires, fears, responsibility, freedom, sadness, guilt, joy, solitude and darkness. As participants in society we are bombarded with advertising, pacified by entertainment, bound by law, pressured by peers, and depended on by friends. With all of these pressing in and pulling on us it can difficult just figure out what balance is, let alone achieve it.
It is easy to get spun out of balance, even by the things we enjoy. We can find ourselves staying late at work finishing a project that has captured our imagination, or partying more than we should, or playing video games, or going to bed in the wee hours of the morning after surfing the internet.
  • What is your relationship to balance? Where do you have it? Where is it missing?
  • Who helps you maintain balance, who pulls you out of it?
  • Where are you struggling to find the right balance?
  • If you have achieved some measure of balance, what have you learned through this? What helped you get there?
  • Where do you feel balance isn’t the right answer, where you find the extreme more useful/productive/enjoyable?
I look forward to meeting with you

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We will be meeting Monday, September 13th, from 7:30-9:30pm.
The topic is Agreements.
Last time we touched on different kinds of relationships we may be involved in. Specifically we relayed stories about those who we work with, families, or romantic partners. It is possible to gain insight into ourselves and our relationships by looking at them though the lens of agreements.  Whenever we enter into relationship we are making an agreement either explicitly or tacitly about what we will give, what we expect to get, and what kinds of boundaries we need. Agreements are the fundamental building block of relationship, and while we are explicit about them in business we rarely look at the agreements we unconsciously enter into in our private, personal lives. The agreements we may make with a lover might be around commitment, monogamy, honesty, support, reliability, priority, or availability. We might make agreements with a colleague around trust, competence, responsibility, or direction (goals). We may make agreements with a client around timing, cost, deliverables, or quality.
Reflecting on your own life what agreements have you made? With whom have you made them? How tacit or explicit are they?
Do you feel more comfortable when the agreements have been spelled out, or do you prefer to let them be quietly understood?
What might you gain from strengthening your agreements by talking about them? By raising consciousness around expectations, needs and desires? What kinds of agreements do you need from people? What do these agreements protect or guarantee? Do you honor your agreements? How can you make better agreements, ones which are clear, which you honor, and which help you become a more evolved being?
I look forward to meeting with you

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