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LINK:  Why you might want a men’s group

You might want to keep building on the success that you are having right now! And you know that the people who are the best at what they do are always looking for another edge … another way to practice and get stronger.

You, like many men, may have had some hard knocks in the past couple of years … and now you’re trying to figure out what’s next.

You might want to stop taking your anger out on the people you love, or on strangers or on YOURSELF.

You might think that the world needs more good men.

You might want to be part of the solution to the epidemics of depression, violence, and isolation that impact men, women, and children.

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Why a group of veterans with PTSD allowed 60 Minutes cameras to record their gut-wrenching therapy sessions and air them on national television; then, Bestselling author Malcolm Gladwell objects to critics who say he fails to credit other people’s works; also, In an interview with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes, author Malcolm Gladwell critiques his bestselling book, “The Tipping Point”; and, On the 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination, former Secret Service agent Clint Hill remembers his emotional interview with Mike Wallace in 1975.

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/60-minutes-overtime-112413/

 

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With all of the various events in the Arab world, our recent partisan political debacles here in the USA, and a recent contact by another men’s group praising us for being a peer-led group, I thought it would be timely to talk about Leadership.

Male stereotypes are rich in leadership figures.  Do we feel the burden of and expectation of leadership?  Have you shouldered the of leadership of others in your life?  Does it energize you, or is it a burden?  Do you feel connected to those you lead, or alienated?  Do you feel you have natural gifts in this area or have you figured out a strategies to overcome a lack of natural talent?

  • Do you wish you could acquire more leadership qualities?  Do they elude your grasp?  What prevents you from exerting yourself as a leader?  How do you react to leadership?  Do you prefer to guide your own life without interference from leadership figures?  Do you have latent anarchistic tendencies?  Or do you crave the clear direction provided by leadership?
  • Have you had leaders in your life that you’ve admired or tried to emulate?  Or have you been the victim of unfair or irresponsible leadership, possibly still carrying a grudge?  What do you want from leadership?  What are the qualities of a perfect leader in your opinion?
  • Are there leadership issues in your relationship with family, friends, lovers, work, our group?
  • And finally, are you able to ‘self-lead’ – to lead your life where you want it to go instead of following your reactions and repeating the same steps over and over?
Look forward to meeting with you all.

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We will be meeting Monday 3/28/11 from 7:30-9:30pm.
Our topic will be fear.
Fear is a pervasive part of the human condition, but its expression can take on a myriad of different forms. We can experience acute fear, in the moment, in response to a physical situation we are confronted with; accidents/disasters, extreme places (vast expanses, steep cliffs, confined tunnels).  This is perhaps the most useful and natural encounter with fear. Our bodies shift into a flight-or-fight response and operate in a subconscious way to get us through it.
But as modern humans we are confronted with many other kinds of fear which is less rational, less useful and more difficult to deal with. As our consciousness evolved so did our fears.  As we moved from total-now consciousness into consciousness outside of the present, we could begin to fear things not immediately in front of us. We developed the ability to feel attachment to something and fear changes in the future. We are faced with a deeply uncertain world today, full of unrest, looming crisis and  seemingly unrelenting natural and man-made catastrophes.
Media sources push some kinds of fear on the evening news, while not addressing things we perhaps should be fearful of. Emotional fear, outside of the moment can be like a cancer. It can slowly eat away at our ability of our mind to rest in peace and happiness. We may live in a fantasy world projecting our fears outside so that our perceived world becomes a scary fear filled landscape.
  • What kinds of fears do you struggle with?
  • What fears do you have that you think are really legitimate?
  • What fears are unexamined, old patterns that maybe once served but that should really be thrown out to free up inner space for peace, enthusiasm and joy?
  • If you didn’t hold on your fears as legitimate, what would happen?
  • Where did you learn to fear these things?
I look forward to meeting with you!

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We will be meeting Monday, March 14th.
From 7:30-9:30pm
Our theme will be boundaries.
We set them, we break them, we seek them, we push them.  The process of growing forces us to confront and establish boundaries. Boundaries are what give us a sense of self, individuality and autonomy.  Boundaries are also set by the external world, constraining our expression, movement, and complete freedom.  The boundaries of our bodies are skin, a permeable membrane protecting us from the raw experience of the world directly on our nerves. The boundaries of our emotional space are somewhat less clear, feelings can invade our interior life flowing past a blurry boundary between yourself and other.  And our minds are even less bounded, and yet still we have a sense of where we end, where the unknown hazy universe must exist beyond. Social interactions have implicit negotiations around boundaries, from partners to strangers in public spaces we are faced with the need to create and feel out invisible boundaries. Boundaries may represent limits we are uncomfortable crossing, or zones we create to feel safe. Our lives consist of dynamic interweaving of boundaries constantly shifting and changing.
Boundaries are edges, membranes where most of the activity, the growth and change happens. Shifting boundaries represent opportunities for new possibilities, but frequently come with discomfort, pain and fear. The maintenance of boundaries may forces us into conflict as the world around us seeks to settle into new relationships.
  • What boundaries are you working on changing?
  • What are boundaries you’ve worked to establish, that you fight to maintain?
  • How do your inner boundaries manifest in external expression?
  • What does boundary mean for you? What value do you place on boundaries?
  • What growth have you experienced at your boundary edges?
  • How do you think about the world beyond your boundaries, what is its character?
I look forward to meeting with you

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