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Posts Tagged ‘boundaries’

This meeting’s topic is Health.

We all wish for Health, but do we achieve this wish?  Statistics show that people are living longer lives currently than in any time in the past, yet those same numbers show that men are dragging down the averages.  Formerly, women and men could be expected to live to a similar age, but today, statistics for men show a disturbing trend.  Here is an example:

Death rates in the USA per 100,000 per year for selected diseases by sex
The Journal of Men’s Health & Gender
(which I’ve ordered by descending ratio)

Disease Male Female Ratio
suicide 18.4 4.4 4.2
hiv 7.4 2.5 2.96
homicide 9.4 3.4 2.8
motor vehicle accident 22.1 9.6 2.3
trauma 51.5 23.5 2.2
liver 12.9 6.3 2.05
coronary 297.4 197.2 1.7
cancer 238.9 163.1 1.46
pulmonary 53.5 37.4 1.43
flu & pneumonia 27 19.9 1.36
diabetes 28.6 23 1.24
cerebrovascular accident 56.5 55.2 1.02
all causes 1013.7 715.2 1.4

It is significant that men beat women in all categories, and in some by a very wide margin.

  • What are the impediments we men have regarding our health?
  • What are your personal impediments?  How do you feel about approaching health matters?
  • What health challenges do you face, and are you facing them?
  • Do you maintain clear boundaries about health issues or do you practice a lot of damage control?
  • How do you imagine a healthy lifestyle?
  • Are there political, intellectual, or theoretical aspects to your thoughts about health?
  • What are your health goals for 2012?
  • Are there ways (accountability, checking in, encouragement, sponsorship) our group can assist you in your health goals?

I look forward to meeting.

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We will be meeting Monday, March 14th.
From 7:30-9:30pm
Our theme will be boundaries.
We set them, we break them, we seek them, we push them.  The process of growing forces us to confront and establish boundaries. Boundaries are what give us a sense of self, individuality and autonomy.  Boundaries are also set by the external world, constraining our expression, movement, and complete freedom.  The boundaries of our bodies are skin, a permeable membrane protecting us from the raw experience of the world directly on our nerves. The boundaries of our emotional space are somewhat less clear, feelings can invade our interior life flowing past a blurry boundary between yourself and other.  And our minds are even less bounded, and yet still we have a sense of where we end, where the unknown hazy universe must exist beyond. Social interactions have implicit negotiations around boundaries, from partners to strangers in public spaces we are faced with the need to create and feel out invisible boundaries. Boundaries may represent limits we are uncomfortable crossing, or zones we create to feel safe. Our lives consist of dynamic interweaving of boundaries constantly shifting and changing.
Boundaries are edges, membranes where most of the activity, the growth and change happens. Shifting boundaries represent opportunities for new possibilities, but frequently come with discomfort, pain and fear. The maintenance of boundaries may forces us into conflict as the world around us seeks to settle into new relationships.
  • What boundaries are you working on changing?
  • What are boundaries you’ve worked to establish, that you fight to maintain?
  • How do your inner boundaries manifest in external expression?
  • What does boundary mean for you? What value do you place on boundaries?
  • What growth have you experienced at your boundary edges?
  • How do you think about the world beyond your boundaries, what is its character?
I look forward to meeting with you

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We will be meeting Monday, September 13th, from 7:30-9:30pm.
The topic is Agreements.
Last time we touched on different kinds of relationships we may be involved in. Specifically we relayed stories about those who we work with, families, or romantic partners. It is possible to gain insight into ourselves and our relationships by looking at them though the lens of agreements.  Whenever we enter into relationship we are making an agreement either explicitly or tacitly about what we will give, what we expect to get, and what kinds of boundaries we need. Agreements are the fundamental building block of relationship, and while we are explicit about them in business we rarely look at the agreements we unconsciously enter into in our private, personal lives. The agreements we may make with a lover might be around commitment, monogamy, honesty, support, reliability, priority, or availability. We might make agreements with a colleague around trust, competence, responsibility, or direction (goals). We may make agreements with a client around timing, cost, deliverables, or quality.
Reflecting on your own life what agreements have you made? With whom have you made them? How tacit or explicit are they?
Do you feel more comfortable when the agreements have been spelled out, or do you prefer to let them be quietly understood?
What might you gain from strengthening your agreements by talking about them? By raising consciousness around expectations, needs and desires? What kinds of agreements do you need from people? What do these agreements protect or guarantee? Do you honor your agreements? How can you make better agreements, ones which are clear, which you honor, and which help you become a more evolved being?
I look forward to meeting with you

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