Because other business came up during our last meeting, we did not get a chance to discuss this topic. The group agreed to make Assertiveness the topic of this, the next meeting.
Our topic will be Assertiveness
Definition of assertiveness: “An honest, direct, and appropriate expression of one’s feelings, thoughts, and beliefs”
Assertiveness and self-confidence is often seen as standard equipment for men, which is perhaps why it is especially hard for a man when he feels these qualities lacking. Often we are assertive in one aspect of our lives and not in another. Based upon the large number of resources available which address the problem of being unassertive, it would seem that this is not at all uncommon for either sex. Here is a sampling of those resources:
Assertiveness, Non-Assertiveness, and Assertive Techniques [pdf; School of Social Work, U of Buffalo]
Improving Assertive Behavior [livestrong.com]
The complete idiot’s guide to assertiveness [book], by Jeffrey P. Davidson
Do you think:
- Other people’s feelings and rights are more important than yours.
- You will offend other people by being assertive.
- You are not important enough to express your feelings and rights.
What’s behind these feelings? Each person will no doubt have their own contributing issues – speech problems since childhood, an overbearing or overly needy parent, being forced to adopt an unfamiliar language or culture, some sort of traumatic experience. If/when you find yourself lacking in the assertiveness you want/need, what do you think is behind the feeling? Is the solution mechanical or emotional? What do you need to put this solution into effect? How can our group help/support you in that goal?
As always, looking forward to meeting.