Archive for February, 2011

We will be meeting Monday, 2/21/2011.
Our theme will be conflict.
Conflict is an inevitable part of social relationships. To live and interact with others will push us into situations where what we want, need or feel is different that those we live with. This difference will result in a pushing of wills, one against the other. It may be softly, or it may become physical and violent. Often our greatest conflict is with those we are closest with.  We may be able to maintain civil, respectful, peaceful relationships with those who are more distant, but when it comes to close relationships we are more easily stirred to confront our differences.
Our own personality will drive how the conflict arises and how it is resolved, if it is resolved at all. We may prefer to be conflict avoiding and strive to quickly diffuse conflict. Or we may feel that the measure of our commitment is the level of fight we bring. We may feel conflict is productive and helps clear the air, or we feel it’s damaging and negative.
How is it that the natural disagreement which arises when two people spend time together can take on such opposite perspectives?
  • For you is conflict something you step up to, or shrink away from? Why? What would happen if you did the opposite?
  • How can conflict be productive? What makes good conflict?
  • How can conflict be harmful? What makes it so negative?
  • How can we become skilled at conflict, so that we can avoid the negative and produce the positive?
  • Our conflict style may change with different opponents, how so?
  • What is your “natural” fight style? How does it change with your lover? Your boss? Your client?
I look forward to meeting with you!

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We will be meeting Monday, 2/14, from 7:30-9:30pm
Out topic will be work.
What you do with your time, energy and will is your work. For most of us our work is also what we do to get a paycheck, it’s our career, our day-job.  Our sense of identity is frequently tightly wound up in what we do for work. If we are lucky we find fulfillment and joy in our work. We find meaning, pride and ownership.  We may also struggle with work, feeling stuck, limited, or uninspired. Work may feel like a burden, something we “have to” do, rather than expression of love. We may struggle with what we do and who we feel we are, or the potential we are unable to release. Work may simply be a means to an end.  As men work is perhaps the most single important role definition we struggle with. It is culturally assigned and poorly modeled.
  • What does it mean to work? Are there positive or negative connotations for you?
  • How much of your identity is wrapped up in what you do for work? What other identities do you claim?
  • Is there work you do that isn’t how you make money? How is this different from your “day-job?”
  • What is holding your work back from being rewarding, meaningful and important?
  • If you have work you love, what is it that makes it this way?
  • Where did you learn to work? What values did you adopt around work?
I look forward to meeting with you

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